she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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