i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
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Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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