How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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