Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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