my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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