is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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