Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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