Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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