in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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