she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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