You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize