I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize