Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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