We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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