So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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