Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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