He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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