See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i out mim tonsoeep
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