apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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