I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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