At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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