Pants 0. Shit 1.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize