I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize