He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize