Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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