Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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