just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize