Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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