see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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