I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize