Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize