Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (1939) Bad night (5974)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business??? http://tfl.nu/t2g2

Replies (22) Good night (5040) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(650): View more from California

you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks" http://tfl.nu/u0u9

Replies (18) Good night (5656) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(909): View more from California

don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me. http://tfl.nu/8txy

Replies (13) Good night (1554) Bad night (5835) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything. http://tfl.nu/hi5p

Replies (5) Good night (3747) Bad night (827)
Favorite
(361): View more from Texas

Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(361): Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck. http://tfl.nu/rgty

Replies (18) Good night (1471) Bad night (1963) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed. http://tfl.nu/kzo6

Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business http://tfl.nu/rc0p

Replies (5) Good night (2490) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx

Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh

Replies (6) Good night (2367) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup http://tfl.nu/az6p

Replies (3) Good night (1203) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71

Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced. http://tfl.nu/5tm9

Replies (5) Good night (287) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l

Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something. http://tfl.nu/os86

Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: