So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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