Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize