Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize