he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize