We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize