we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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