i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize