I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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