my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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