well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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