it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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