And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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