I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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