community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
