i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize