He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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