im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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