yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize